Inept Street Performers

I love a good NY street performer. After all, why not showcase your talent & make some extra cash. Keep doing your thing Mexican Mariachi band, robot man, & Dylan impersonator. I don't however appreciate street performers without talent. No, I don't want to hear your terrible rendition of "Imagine" on your guitar, or the one song ( "Pachabel Cannon") you know on the violin. And middle-aged white woman, please refrain from singing Jackson 5's "I'll Be There" with your karaoke machine on the platform. Okay, maybe you can stay. I could always use a good laugh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NHQzBqiKys&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLGCDR-0-J4&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4gT-UsNMcs

"Writers"

Young People who live in the Dangerous, Industrial Wastelands of Brooklyn

Okay, Okay, I know you like the cheap rent, but really, when did it become cool to live in the dangerous, barren lands of Brooklyn?!?! It's like the more dangerous the area, the hipper you are. Really people, read the police reports. Here you are getting off the subway in Bushwick with your monstrous headphones & ipod, & poof there goes a thief snatching your favorite thrift store bag. I say you stick to the already gentrified hipster neighborhoods & stop putting yourself in danger. Us lame Manhattanites want you back.

"Photographers"

I'm repeating this, yes. Refer to my older post, but really, stop photographing the city like you're a bat-mitzvah photographer!

Internships

Why does every organization/nonprofit in the city abuse us employed/desperate younger folk with useless internships? Yes, yes, we will work for free, but really, can't you sacrifice 5 bucks an hour?

"Fashionable" People

no, you're not that fashionable. hilarious:
http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/ret/1435106103.html

Cyclists

Don't get me wrong. I love bike riding. It's fun, environmentally friendly, & super cool, but NY cyclists can really get on my nerves. A) they rarely ride on the designated bike path B) they incessantly beep at me with that childish bell for walking at a normal pace C) they act superior to rest of us. Dear cyclist, please stay on your path so I can stop blogging about you.

Hipster Cyclists Versus Hasids:
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/brooklyn/bike_war_paint_g7EizkFEZktV3IlNUJosQM

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/1295924472.html

Music Elitists

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kn8DYjNjEoQ&feature=related

No No, their third album is their best one! You've gotta be joking me, The Joe Does are the best band ever! Ugh, you like them? You haven't heard of Broken Social Scene? the Magnetic Fields? what?!

Please stop. Accept the fact that we all have different tastes. No use getting so emotional about it.

Obnoxious Salespeople

wait, you're a salesperson right?

Intellectual Snobbery

Food Snobbery

to be honest, what's the difference between free trade & fair trade?

Small Kitchens

God dammit I want to cook! I want to bake! but I have zero kitchen space, no counter space (taken up by that hefty microwave, why do microwaves have to be so damn big!) I end up cooking on my floor. and let's not forget about washing dishes-what a pain! and who the hell outlawed garbage disposals in nyc?

Do miniature city kitchens annoy you? Please comment below.

Parking

I don't drive, but I had to include this one.

Does parking in the city annoy you? Please comment below.

People who take a long time in the bathroom

We're in NYC. There is a shortage of public restrooms. Please hurry up. Thank you.

Do people who take a long time in the bathroom annoy you? Please comment below. (BFF, this is for you)

Ideas For New Posts: Need your Help!

Please comment below with more post categories!!! All ideas will be considered!!!

People from New Jersey

Do you really need to drive into the city on a Sunday night to meet Uncle Marty's family at Carmine's?

You are the reason I avoid the Meatpacking District (aka The MPD).

Please read my friend's comment below. Her words are way more appropriate for the main body of this post.

Do people from New Jersey in NYC annoy you? Please comment below.

Nail Ladies Who Comment on Your Appearance

Okay, yes, I have to wax my eyebrows, my skin needs some help, and I didn't get much sleep last night, but do you really have to comment on my appearance?

Does it annoy you when nail ladies comment on your appearance? Please comment below.

People who talk about articles in the New York Times like no one else has read them

Do people who flaunt the fact that they read the front page of the New York Times annoy you? Please comment below.

Tour Companies

I do not want to see the Empire State Building today. I am clearly going to work & not getting on that big red bus. Why don't you approach the families with teenage kids dressed in Abercrombie & Fitch.

Does it annoy you when tour companies approach you on the street? Please comment below.

Weirdos who say hi to you on the street

You shouldn't be saying hello to me. plain & simple.

Does it annoy you when weirdos say hi to you on the street? Please comment below.

The Weather

The Wind-ugh!

Does NYC weather annoy you? Please comment below.

Pedicabs

"Pedicab? Pedicab?"Can't you see I'm alone? Can't you see I'm going to work? Why would I want to take your pedicab by myself while wearing a suit!? Go harass a touristy couple instead.

Also, why are pedicab drivers so happy/jolly all the time? Do you really enjoy your job that much?!

Do pedicabs annoy you? Please comment below.

Active New Yorkers

People who lean up against you on a subway/bus

Don't you just hate it when someone rubs up against you on a subway/bus. Okay, I know there's no room, but can't you move a pinch. Also, men, you've gotta stop taking pleasure in subway spooning-gross!

Teenagers on the Subway

Don't you hate it when you see a group of 5 or more teens get on your ride. Inevitably, they are going to talk & laugh really loudly--annoying you on your way home.

Do teenagers on the subway/bus annoy you? Please comment below.

The Person in a Wheelchair on a Public Bus

Don't get me wrong. I truly understand that you're in a wheelchair. You deserve to get to the same places as me. But anyone who has ever ridden a New York city bus can't tell me that when a person in a wheelchair gets on or off the bus that it isn't one of the most annoying events of all time. You're trying to get somewhere and then boom. The driver has to go through an entire production to let that person off. First the unbuckling, and then that dreaded mechanical ramp that seems to take 6 hours to finally go down: Beep, Beep, Beep!

Does the appropriately accommodating NYC bus system annoy you? Please comment below.

People who talk to you in the elevator

Please let me get to my destination so I don't have to talk to this person. Too late. Here we go. "You have a nice day too."

Do people who chat it up with you on the elevator annoy you? Please comment below.

People who get mad at you on the subway/bus

Dear Stranger, I'm sorry I bumped into you. I'm sorry I'm in your way. I'm sorry I took the tight seat next to you because my feet hurt. Actually, I'm not sorry. Stop giving me that nasty look & deal with PUBLIC transportation.

Do people who get angry at others on a crowded subway/bus annoy you? Please comment below.

People who hand out useless fliers

Stop handing me fliers about unisex barber shops, cheap jewelry stores, & religious propaganda. And for God's sake, cheer up! you're the salesman...

Do people who hand out useless fliers on the street corner annoy you? Please comment below.

Starbucks Leeches

Why are you spending all day in Starbucks? Are you "working? "studying"? starting your own business? If you really want to accomplish something, go somewhere else.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/55607/stella-coffee-shop#x-0,vepisode,1

Do people who spend all day in Starbucks "working" annoy you? Please comment below.

People Who Hate Tourists

Yes, tourists are annoying. They crowd Times Square & Rockefeller Center & fill our streets with large tour busses. But people who hate tourists are even more annoying. New York is fun. Let people enjoy. After all, we used to be tourists too.

The other day I was waiting in line to eat at the delicious Serendipity. In the 20-30 minutes I was in line, 5 or 6 people mumbled not so quietly under their breath while walking past us, "I can't believe people wait in line for this. tourists." Did you have to make us feel bad for being tourists? Get over yourself.

Do people who hate tourists annoy you? Please comment below.

"True" New Yorkers

Okay, you know your way around Manhattan. The village doesn't confuse you. You can visualize the subway map & get from here to there via many routes. Who cares! You aren't special. do you really have to publicly debate which route is the best?

Do people who flaunt their NY navigation skills annoy you? Please comment below.

We love NY, but sometimes we need to vent.

Vent away. Venting can be honest, emotional, & offensive. This is an open blog. If you have an idea for a post, let me know.

A city known for its diversity can be very predictable.

vent

  [vent]

–verb (used with object)

8.	to give free play or expression to (an emotion, passion,etc.): to vent rage.

9.	to give public utterance to: to vent one's opinions.

10.	to relieve by giving expression to something: He vented his disappointment by criticizing his successor.

11.	to release or discharge (liquid, smoke, etc.)

12.	to furnish or provide with a vent or vents.

La Guardia Airport

I've never left out of this airport on time. Have you?

Does LGA annoy you? Please comment below.

Dating

Dating in NY is a lost cause. Men & women want different things. The women's liberation movement may have given women more power in the professional world, but not in the dating world. Forget romance chickities.

Match.com, Jdate, Plentyoffish, Missed Connections = useless!!

Does dating in the city annoy you? Please comment below. Anonymous stories appreciated.

Maybe you missed your connection? http://newyork.craigslist.org/cgi-bin/personals.cgi?category=mis

Expensive Grocery Stores

Are you actually a speciality food store? A health food store? I don't think so. Yesterday I bought "fresh, homemade" STALE, gross yogurt pretzels for 2334 dollars at a "speciality, health" food store. Either be what you say you are or lower your prices. Too bad there's only 1 Trader Joe's.

Do expensive grocery stores annoy you? Please comment below.

Subway Starers

Why are you making eye contact with me on the subway? um, no.

Does it annoy you when people stare at you on the subway? Please comment below.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UElC2nVQp5Y

"Photographers"

On a daily day I see 23432 different people taking the same type of photo: the NY street scene, the NY skyscraper, the random NY pedestrian, the NY park. Are all of you professional photographers? I don't think so. Maybe if you gave up your photography dreams I wouldn't feel so guilty stepping through your scenery...

Does the New York "photographer" annoy you? Please comment below.

Useless Street Fairs

No, I do not want your barbecued food that has been sitting in the street all day, nor do I want the same food item a few vendors down. Nor do I want toiletries from ten years ago such as dried up nail polish & baby wipes. Sell something new you damn street fairs! Seriously, who wants crappy sheets or watered down lemonade?! Maybe you could sell something useful? Like pirated DVDs?

Do generic weekend street fairs annoy you? Please comment below.

Black Cabs

Don't you just hate it when you are about to cross the street & one of those Lincoln Town Car black cabs starts beeping at you?!?! NO! I am not paying an extra 323423 dollars to take your cab-especially because I only have a credit card & not cash! you've ripped me off in the past. Just suck it up & work for a yellow cab company you car roaches!

Do black cabs annoy you? Please comment below.

Slow Walkers

Do slow walkers annoy you? Please comment below.

Construction Workers

Get off my block!!!!!! "Temporary Pedestrian Walkway"?!?! "Temporary"?!?! I don't think so. These construction men have been lingering on my block forever. Maybe if you stopped starring at women's asses, you'd actually accomplish something!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_Qnilf_E1c

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etQPitfWJXI&feature=related

Do construction workers annoy you? Please comment below.

http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/unwanted-attention-from-men/

Delivery Men

Stop pointing at the bill! just tell me how much it is!

Don't get huffy when I don't give you a ten million dollar tip.

Weren't you the young man who delivered my pizza last week, my sushi two weeks ago, and my matzoh ball soup the week before that? Wow, I didn't know you worked three jobs.

Thank you for being there for me through rain, wind, or shine.

P.S. get over the mustache

Do delivery men annoy you? Please comment below.

Taxi Drivers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNCxSsUD8FA

The other day my taxi driver pretended he didn't speak English & ignored my desire to take the most efficient driving route. He went down the trafficky street, instead of listening to me, just so he could get a bigger tip. No way sucker!

Who the hell are foreign taxi drivers talking to on their wireless cellphones? I mean seriously! How do they have so many friends? And how can their friends talk to them for hours & hours about nonsense? Are they working two jobs? telemarketing & taxi driving? and how are they talking to people at all hours of the day?

I was just sitting in a taxi cab after approaching my destination & the driver wouldn't stop the meter. "Are you going to stop the meter?" I asked. "Are you paying by credit card?" He responded. "Yes". "Well, you didn't tell me that." Ugh! Do passengers really have to tell you whether or not they are going to use credit cards?! I mean seriously, most of us use credit cards to pay for cab fares these days. We don't have cash & it makes it easier for us to calculate tip. Also, stop making me feel guilty for using a credit card!! I'm sorry you can't get instant satisfaction with cash. Get over it.

"Which route would you like to take ma'am?" uph! First of all, you're the cab driver. If you were doing your job the right way you would know the best route to take. Second of all, stop calling me ma'am!!

Cab Drivers who get mad at you for hailing cabs in the opposite direction of where you're going: rarg! Seriously, I know where I'm going. I live here. But I couldn't find a cab going in the right direction-they're all occupied. Yes, you have to make a U-turn, but big deal! I'm the one paying the extra 20 cents on the meter-not you!

Off-Duty Cabs! Okay the lights on your the side of your top thing reveal that you're "off duty". But what does that mean exactly? You still approach me & tease me with the possibility that you can go where I need to go. If you're done for the day & going home, turn off your lights completely! Don't lead me on...

Don't you just love it when Hamdan Yousuf sees his taxi driver friend & he gets all excited??

Do taxi drivers annoy you? Please comment below.